The Colourful side

[mychew 0]

No specific rules as i'm not moderator but i was supported by other members to start this thread. therefore...please keep your jokes in yellow colour ok?Hope you get what i mean. No chatting here..if u have any doubts just PM me.

 

 

OK. Let me start the jokes.

 

 

Son kills butterfly, father says no butter for 2 weeks.

 

Son kills honeybee, father says no honey for 2 weeks.

 

One day, mum kills a cockroach, son asked:"Dad, you tell her or should I?"

[mychew 0]

A Joke about Singapore Airlines

 

Once upon a time in Singapore, there lived a happy couple, Mr & Mrs Ng with their 3 lovely triplet daughters; Elaine, Ena & Ella.

 

The 3 daughters were brought up in a prim-and-proper fashion and when they reached 20, their parents thought it was time to get them married. So, the parents found them the most suitable " leng chais" ( handsome guys ). They got married and were preparing to set-off on their honeymoon.

 

As "concerned" (more like "kay-poh") parents, Mr & Mrs Ng were curious about their daughters' first-night experience. So, before the daughters went on their respective honeymoons, Mrs Ng told them......" Your father and I want to know about your 1st night encounters and whether you were satisfied. Write a letter to us, but so as not to raise your husbands' curiosity...you all must use a code-name to descri be your experiences".

 

So, the excited daughters were off.

 

A week passed. Mr & Mrs Ng got the first letter. It was from Elaine. They opened the letter and found the word "STANDARD CHARTERED". They immediately took the newspaper and looked for the Standard Chartered advertisement. "Ah! here it is!", exclaimed Mr. Ng. The motto for Standard Chartered was.... "BIG, STRONG & FRIENDLY" Mr & Mrs. Ng were happy.

 

A week later, they got another letter. This time it was from Ena. The content was simple. "NESCAFE". So, again they took the neswpaper and looked for the Nescafe ad. "Ah! here it is. "NESCAFE: PLEASURE TILL THE LAST DROP". Again, Mr & Mrs Ng beamed with joy.

 

Another week passed. A month passed. And another. There was still no letter from Ella. The Ngs became worried. Finally, the letter came. It was scribbled and could hardly be read,

but Mrs. Ng managed to figure it out. The code-name was "SINGAPORE AIRLINES".

 

Why Singapore Airlines? Mr.Ng rushed to the nearest store and got a newspaper. H e flipped the pages frantically. "Ah! Here it is!" Mrs. Ng grabbed the page and read aloud.

 

Before she could finish .THUMP!!!...she fell off her chair. The motto was ... "7 TIMES A WEEK. 4 TO 6 TIMES A DAY. NON-STOP".

 

[N@Z 0]

So... where's the yellow part as required in your rules?

[kenshinz 0]

Dumb barbie joke... as appeared in our IRC channel 13/11/2003

 

A man went into a toy shop hopping to buy a Barbie doll for her daughter's 9th birthday. The sales assistant introduced him to the 3 latest Barbie doll this season.

 

Sales Assistant: "We have Malibu Barbie, she comes dressed in the latest beachwear designed by Calvin Klein, complete with beach chair and beach accessories. All for only $90. Next we have Evening Gown Barbie. She comes dressed in the latest evening gown designed by Prada complete with 24K gold jewellery designed by Tiffany's. Its more expansive at $150 but worth the money as it is a limited edition. Last but not least, we have Divorced Barbie, at the introductory price of $300."

 

After hearing this the man was stunned for a while

 

Man: "Damn.. whats up with Divorced Barbie, why is it so expansive?"

 

Sales Assistant: "Oh you mean you don't know? It comes with Ken's Car, Ken's house with swimming pool, and Ken's private Lear Jet.... batteries not included thot"

[mychew 0]

SIA Logo is sort of golden yellow, honey in honeymoon is yellow...hehe...imagination ya.

and IIRC, do u all notice nescafe always use yellow in their packaging design?

lol...are my explanations satisfied your queries?

i duno, it's all depend on u all..hehe

 

here another story to share...

not really a joke...just to clarify my points here

 

Mr Know All like to debate with a monk, who is also his best fren. One day, they meet again.

 

MR Know All: hey my fren.Morning

Monk: hey fren

Mr Know All: i gonna ask u a question...

Monk: please..

Mr Know All: in your eyes, what do i look like?

Monk: A buddha sitting beside me. How about me, my fren?

Mr Know All: haha....u look like a sh*t.

Monk just smile and did not reply.

 

when Mr Know All go back, his sister was told about the story. He is so sproud that he wins the monk today. His sister say...no....u r the one who lose..the master is the one who won. u lost to him in your morality and knowledge.

 

hehe...get wat i mean?and can u guess where is the yellow inside?

 

[matbon0013 0]

I'm up for silly jokes lately too

Recieved via sms from a relative like I had a choice right

Ok here is my contribution of the day/night whatever!

 

Wife sleeping in the middle of the night, suddenly wakes up.

"Quick! My husband is back!!"

The man gets up, jumps out the window when he realises, "sh*t! I am the husband"

 

Can go figure where the yellow color is, yeah?

 

[N@Z 0]

[matbon0013 0]

Yet another joke from an sms, it will never stop I guess

 

Confucius says :

A man is old if he looks at the food instead of the waitress!

And older if he eats the food and not the waitresses

 

Now we all know Confucius never said anything like that yeah?

[mychew 0]

>>> > > Well......... if you ask me....... I have never thought of

 

>>>the ending will

 

>>> > > be like that. Pretty innovative.

 

>>> > >

 

>>> > >

 

>>> > > Once upon a time, there lived an ant and a grasshopper.

 

>>> > >

 

>>> > > The grasshopper does nothing else but jump around and

 

>>> > > play.On the other hand, the ant is so hardworking, looking

 

>>> > > for food and HONEY(!!!) all day long and store them in it's nest.

 

>>> > >

 

>>> > > Looking at his hardworking friend working so hard, the

 

>>> > > grasshopper ask, "Hey, Ant! U dun have to relax ah?

 

>>>Always busy one.

 

>>> > > Come and play with me lah."

 

>>> > >

 

>>> > > To which the ant replied, "I can't lah, I have to store all

 

>>>these

 

>>> > > food." "Haiyah! Relax lah. Why u bother storing all these

 

>>> > > food? Somemore u store honey! wat for?u think u bear is it? Anyway..i want to tell u...When u hungry just go find lah." the grasshopper

 

>>>replied.

 

>>> > >

 

>>> > > "Eh,cannot lah. I have to standby for the coming winter

 

>>>season.Then I no

 

>>> > > need to panick mah. I think u oso better standby u know."

 

>>>the ant

 

>>> > > advised his friend.

 

>>> > >

 

>>> > > "Where got time...I go play better. U wanna store food u go

 

>>>ahead lah. I

 

>>> > > will look for someone else to play with me ok.. and dun store too much honey later u get diabetes... bye!" And

 

>>>hop goes the

 

>>> > > grasshopper.

 

>>> > >

 

>>> > > The Ant is a hardworking guy... oops i mean insect. Not like

 

>>>the

 

>>> > > grasshopper. But as days, weeks, months go by, the winter

 

>>>still has not

 

>>> > > come yet and the ant is still seen searching and storing

 

>>>food and again...honey... ...

 

>>> > >

 

>>> > > The two friends happen to meet again. "Hey Ant! U stil

 

>>>haven't finished

 

>>> > > storing food ah? Last time all the food go where liao?

 

>>> > > So fast finish oready ah?did u get diabetes?haha..." asked grasshopper.

 

>>> > >

 

>>> > > "I got keep but all overdue liao. Somemore got bear bear come and dig my hole..si jia lat leh..want honey go to bee hive ma...come dig mine...idiot sia... So cannot eat anymore. All

 

>>>because

 

>>> > > winter not here yet. and that stupid bear bear. Now i have to go and look for new food liao lah."

 

>>>sighed the

 

>>> > > ant.

 

>>> > >

 

>>> > > "But ant ah.. U dun mind i ask ah.. Did u ever have a thought

 

>>>that

 

>>> > > Singapore where got winter one?" ask the grasshopper again.

 

>>> > >

 

>>> > > "AHHHH????!!!!!" the ant was shocked!

 

>>> > >

 

>>> > > THE END.

 

>>> > >

 

>>> > > The moral of the story is whatever u do better think

 

>>> > > properly 1st.Dun anyhow hantam only...

 

>>> > > Sometimes we get too busy in life and following our

 

>>> > > routine too tightly but most importantly, work towards where

 

>>>you wanna go

 

>>> > > in your life, what is it that you want, is that what you

 

>>>REALLY want,

 

>>> > > what's your dream, are you moving towards your dream? If it's

 

>>>not, dun

 

>>> > > just keep on working hard n keep on hantaming only just

 

>>>because someone in

 

>>> > > your life tells you that this is the way and just because

 

>>>everyone else is

 

>>> > > doing it !!

 

>>> > >

 

>>> > > Dun just keep on working hard with no direction .......

 

>>> > > focus in the direction of your life not your work.

 

>>> > >

 

>>> > > Plan your life, Live life cool ~~~~

Edited January 29, 2004 by mychew

[augustineRS 0]

wats the yellow?honey?