N@Z 0 Report post Posted November 20, 2003 Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic Genie's lamp. The Genie came out and said: "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you." The first said, "I wish I were smarter." So she became a redhead. The second blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than her." She became a brunette. The third blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than both of them." So she became a man. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
augustineRS 0 Report post Posted November 21, 2003 Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark! Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer? A: The joystick is wet. Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
augustineRS 0 Report post Posted November 21, 2003 For Those Going to The Eastern Bloc: Blonde jokes to be made illegal in Bosnia Blonde jokes are set to be made illegal in Bosnia under new laws that will enable women to sue people who make jokes about their hair colour. The gender equality law, due to come into effect within the next two months, will make it an offence to tell jokes about women based on their hair colour. Savima Terzic, director of the International Group for Human Rights, told Bosnian daily newspaper Nezavisne Novine: "The new law on gender equality would enable blonde women to sue anyone who tells jokes that offend them, even if those jokes were just based on the colour of their hair." Blonde jokes are said to be massively popular in Bosnia. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N@Z 0 Report post Posted November 21, 2003 Know any Bosnian jokes? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N@Z 0 Report post Posted November 23, 2003 Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, "Ready!...Aim!! ..." Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She escapes. The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no and the executioner shouts, "Ready! ... Aim!!..." Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She escapes. By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! ... Aim!! ..." ...and the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N@Z 0 Report post Posted November 27, 2003 One morning this blonde calls her friend and says: "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it." Her friend asks "What is it a puzzle of?" The blonde says "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger." The blonde's friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. He then turns to her and says: "First, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger." "Second, I'd advise you to relax, have a cup of coffee, and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matbon0013 0 Report post Posted December 1, 2003 Why do blondes have bruises round their belly button ? You think blond guys are clever ? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jasonhanjk 0 Report post Posted December 1, 2003 Cheeky Mat...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
augustineRS 0 Report post Posted December 5, 2003 A BLONDE is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right boob hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says,"Miss, are you aware that I could charge you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why officer?" "Because your boob is hanging out." he says. She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N@Z 0 Report post Posted December 16, 2003 Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? They went to see "Closed for the Winter". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matbon0013 0 Report post Posted December 20, 2003 The Engineer had just returned from a week long seminar. His boss, instead of asking about the details, asked if he were sick as he looked absolutely terrible. "Well...." said the Engineer. "I met this blonde and turned out she was an engineer-in-training and wanted me to tutor her. One thing led to another and we ended up back in her room having gorilla sex all night." "OK," replied the boss, "that may explain your fatigue, but why are your eyes so red?" "Well," said the Engineer, "turns out she was married and had a baby at home. She started crying, and I started thinking about my own wife and kids, so I cried too." "I see." chided the boss, "but that seminar ended friday. How come you still appear so ragged?" "Well," said the Engineer, "you can't sit there and cry 4-5 times a day for four days and not look like this" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelv 0 Report post Posted December 21, 2003 A group of 10 blondes in their early twenties decided to go partying at boat quay one night. Yes u read it right, it's the one in sg. Anyway, they all arrived and were standing in front of a pub when the leader of the group approached the door and paused, even before lookin inside the place, she walked back towards the group and said, "this place sucks." They then proceeded to the neighbouring joint. Once again the leader walked up to the door, paused and walked back sayin "this place sucks as well". The group once again proceeded to the next joint and the leader once again went through the same repertoire and walked back to the group shoutin "This whole place is jus sshiiit!" and following that the whole group of 10 blondes went home. Q: Why was this so? A: On the door to the entrace of the pub, there was a sign that read "Above 18 only" =) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
augustineRS 0 Report post Posted December 30, 2003 There were two blondes standing on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells across to the other "Hey how do you get to the other side!?" The other blonde yells back "You're on the other side!!!!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N@Z 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2004 Quickies: A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively, "How do you give shoulders?" A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The blonde says, "Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the face!!!" Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those arn't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
augustineRS 0 Report post Posted February 8, 2004 THERE is a blonde, a redhead and a brunette on the stairway to heaven. God says: "There are 3,000 steps and I'll tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. If you laugh you go to hell." So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. God tells a joke, the brunette laughs and goes to hell. Then on the 2,000th step God tells a joke, the redhead laughs and goes to hell. On the 3,000th step God tells a joke, the blonde doesn't laugh and proceeds to the gate. Suddenly, she bursts out laughing. God asks, "What are you laughing about?" The blonde replies, "I just got the first joke!". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
