Blonde Jokes

[N@Z 0]

In a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first-class section and requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first-class ticket.

The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving."

Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman, asking her to please move out of the first-class section.

Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving."

The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do.

The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this." He went to the first-class section and whispered in the blonde's ear.

She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to herself, "Why didn't anyone just say so?"

Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally persuaded her to move from her seat.

He said, "I told her the first-class section wasn't going to New York."

[peekarwe 0]

A blonde, brunette and redhead were stranded on an island 20 km from mainland. 2 days later, the redhead decided that she didn't want to wait and started to swim out to sea, heading for mainland. 1km, 2km,....and she figured she couldn't make it, had to turn back.

 

The next day, brunette decided to try. 1km, 2km, 3km, 4km, 5km...and she figured she couldn't make it, had to turn back.

 

The following day, blonde decided to try. 1km, 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10km...and she figured she couldn't make it, had to turn back.

[N@Z 0]

[N@Z 0]

A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.

 

The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and after which begins to explore the house.

Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor is covered in $100 bills everywhere.

Then, there's a knock at the door...

He answers it and standing there are two people dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits. They drag him outside, over to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a branch and hang him by the neck until he's dead.

 

As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods; it's the two blonde genies. One blonde genie says to the other one," I can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire... but why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me."

[augustineRS 0]

but why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me

 

This is ONE hell of a punch line to the joke!

[Q00 0]

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown.

 

A few days later, as she was out driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass.

 

Admiring the cute wooly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?"

 

The shepherd, always the gentleman, said, "Sure!"

 

The blonde thought for a moment and, for no discernible reason, said, "352."

 

This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed, and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K., I'll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock."

 

The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked the one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.

 

When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?"

[N@Z 0]

It's been a while...

[heady 0]

It's been a while...

It's been a loooooonnnngggg while. More, more!