jasonhanjk 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 The first naked man a woman sees is 'Ken'. I like this one... Barbie's boyfriend... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Q00 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 Her Side of the Story : > ============== > He was in an odd mood Saturday night. > We planned to meet at a pub for a drink. I spent the afternoon > shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my > fault because I was a bit later than I promised, but he didn't say > anything much about it. The conversation was very slow going so I thought > we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk a bit more > privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. >I tried to > cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I > asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in thecar > on the way back home, I said that I loved him deeply and he just put his > arm around me. I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know, he > didn't say it back or anything, this is really worrying me. > We finally got back home and I was wondering if he was going to leave me! > So I tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the TV, and sat with > a distant look in his eyes that seemed to say it's all over between us. > Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed. Then after about 10 minutes, > he joined me and to my surprise, he responded to my advances. But, he >still > seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to confront him but >I > just cried myself to sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, >I > really think he's seeing someone else and that my life is a disaster. > > > > > > > > His Side of the Story: > ============== > > My favourite soccer team lost. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Q00 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 A new lady teacher, came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with -name, and hobby. She said "Let's start with the boys first. The Boys start giving their intro....... First boy : "My name is john, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bath tub." The Teacher was confused to listen and said, "Interesting - well, ok. In fact we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So its ok John. Yes, next-" Second boy : "Myself Peter, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bath tub" The Teacher now got surprised and said, "Gooodd.. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. Ok, next -" Third boy : "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bath tub" Teacher : "Guys, are u joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok, next -" This continues, and the last boy stands up : "I'm Harry, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bath tub" Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach u ungrown boyz for long. Any way, now the girls please -" First girl : "I'm July and my hobby is to watch birds" Teacher : "Gooodd. At last I got something different. Ok next-" Second girl : "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes" Teacher : "Nnow its like educated grown-up girls. Ok, next- you, sweet girl- yes, you.." The most gorgeously beautiful girl of the class "Maa'm, my name is Bubble, and my hobby is to bathe three times a day".......!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Q00 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 The story of Onestone This was his Indian name because he had only one testicle. After years and years of this torment Onestone cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!" The word got around and nobody called him onestone any more. Then one day a young girl forgot and said, "Good morning Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest, there he shagged her all day, he shagged her all night, and he shagged her all the next day, until she died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant business. Years went by until a woman returned to the village after many years away. She was overjoyed when she saw onestone and hugged him and said, "Good to see you onestone." Again, Onestone grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he shagged her all day, shagged her all night, shagged her all the next day, shagged her all the next night, but she wouldn't die! What is the moral of the story? (You'll love this!!!!) ........................... You can't kill two birds with one stone Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Q00 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 Why I am not studying??? Because : No Study = Fail ....................... ( I ) Study = No Fail ............................ ( II ) By Combining ( I ) & ( II ) : =====> ( No Study + Study ) = ( No Fail + Fail ) By Taking ( Study ) as a common factor in the left hand side And Taking ( Fail ) as a common factor in the right hand side =====> Study ( No + 1) = Fail (No + 1 ) By Dividing both sides by ( No + 1) =====> Study = Fail SO I ADVISE YOU TO STOP STUDING Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Q00 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 POLITICS SON : Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a question? DAD : Sure Son, What's the question? SON : What's POLITICS? DAD : Well Son, let's take our home as an example:I make all the final decisions on important matters- So let's call me MANAGEMENT Your mother spends most of the money, so let her be the GOVERNMENT We take care of you and your needs- So let's call you the PEOPLE We shall call our maid Clara, the WORKERS And we call your Baby Brother, the FUTURE Do you understand what POLITICS means now? SON : I'm really not sure. Dad I'll have to think about it. That night awakened by his baby brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parent's room and found his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to disturb his mother, he then went to the maid's room. He peeked through the keyhole, and saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went unheard by his father and the maid. So he finally returned to his room and went back to sleep The next morning at the breakfast table? SON : Dad, I now think I understand POLITICS. DAD : That's great Son! Please explain to me in your own words. SON : Well Dad! While MANAGEMENT is screwing the WORKERS, The GOVERNMENT is sound asleep. The PEOPLE are being ignored and the FUTURE is full of sh*t. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N@Z 0 Report post Posted October 3, 2003 The guy just takes the girlfriend back to her home after being out together,and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?". "What ? You're crazy???!!!" "Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem." "No!! Someone may see; a relative, a neighbor..." "At this time of the night no one will show up.." "I've already said NO, and NO!" "Honey, it's just a small blowie... I know you like it too.." "NO!!! I've said NO!!!" "My love.. don't be like that.." At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder, rubbing her eyes and says: "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lekguan 0 Report post Posted October 3, 2003 N@Z, thus joke was ripped off this video: http://msv.dk/filer/uploads/priceless.asx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Q00 0 Report post Posted October 6, 2003 Situations Hallmark doesn't cover: 1. I always wanted To have someone to hold, Someone to love. After meeting you. (inside card) I changed my mind. 2. I must admit, You brought religion into my life . (inside card) I never believed in Hell Until I met you. 4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go ... (inside card) Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again. 7. When we were together, You said you'd die for me ... (inside card) Now we've broken up, I think it's time To keep your promise. 10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy... (inside card) Did you ever find out who the father was? 11. You are such a good friend If we were on a sinking ship And there was only one life jacket . (inside card) I'd miss you terribly. And think of you often. 14. Looking back over the years We've been together, I can't help but wonder . (inside card) What was I thinking? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Q00 0 Report post Posted October 6, 2003 Relatives! A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied ........... "in-laws." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matbon0013 0 Report post Posted October 7, 2003 Love Making The Italian says, "When I've a finished a makina da love withah my wife, I go down and gently a tickle the back of her knees, she floats 6 inches above a da bed in ecstasy." The Frenchman replies. "Zat is nutting, when Ah've finished making ze love with ze wife, Ah kiss all ze way down her body and zen Ah lick za soles of her feet wiz mah tongue and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy." The redneck says, "That ain't nuthin buddy. When I've finished porkin the ole lady, I git out of bed, walk over to the winder and wipe my wiener on the curtains. She hits the freakin' ceiling." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N@Z 0 Report post Posted October 21, 2003 Was this posted already? A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'm, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
