The Lighter Side

[N@Z 0]

[matbon0013 0]

Doctor Bob had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all

day long.

 

No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The

guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming, but, every once in a while,

he'dhear an internal, reassuring voice that said: "Bob, don't worry about

it.

 

You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you

won't be the last. And plus, you're single. Just let it go. "But invariably

the other voice would bring him back to reality, whispering:...............

 

 

 

 

"Bob, you're a vet..."

 

Courtesy of Berlin Fritz from the Naim Forum

Edited September 12, 2003 by matbon0013

[Blues 0]

..................

 

 

 

 

HAhahHaHhAhaHa !!!

[matbon0013 0]

Wife reads an article, "Wow! a bull can have sex 3000 times a year, I wish you could do the same".

 

Husband replies, "Ask the bull whether he screws the SAME cow!"

Edited September 12, 2003 by matbon0013

[N@Z 0]

A woman gave birth to 6 babies. She ran out of the Ward & slapped her husband... "I told you, no doggie style!"

[jasonhanjk 0]

An old couple are watching X-rated film the first time.

Suddenly, the wife slap the old man hard on the face, and said:

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You didn't tell me I can eat that!

[Absolute0 0]

Hey, there are minors here!

[lekguan 0]

OK... I used to subscribe (email) to some "lame jokes" newsletter. Here's some:

 

 

Bill Clinton and Al Gore are sitting in a diner. The

waitress says, "Ready to order?" Clinton says, "Yeah. I'd

like a quickie." The waitress says, "A quickie? Mr.

President, I don't think that's a real good idea. I'll come

back when you're ready to order from the menu." Gore leans

and says, "It's pronounced "quiche."

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

A good Irish man, John O'Reilly, met regularly with his

toastmasters club. One evening they were hitting the Guiness

Stout and having a contest as to who could make the best toast.

 

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said "Here's to spending

the rest of me life between the legs of me wife?"

 

That won him the top prize for the toast of the night.

 

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for

the best toast of the night."

 

She said, "Aye, what was your toast?"

 

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting

in church beside me wife."

 

"Oh me that is very nice indeed, John," Mary said.

 

The next day Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on

the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said,

"John won the prize the other night with a toast about you

Mary."

 

She said, "Aye, and I was a bit surprised meself! You know,

he's only been there twice! Once he fell asleep and the

other time, I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!"

[lekguan 0]

A husband and wife noticed that their little boy's penis was

a little too small so they took him to the doctor. They

expressed their concerns to the doctor. The doctor said to

feed the little boy lots of toast. The next morning, the

wife gets up really early and makes a huge stack of toast...

 

.... When the little boy comes down to breakfast, the mother

says, "Take the top two slices. The rest are for your father."

 

 

-----------------------------------------------------

 

 

During WWII a fighter pilot was shot down over Germany and

he was captured by the Nazis. He was hurt pretty bad so he

the German doctor amputated his arm. He had a request that

they would drop his arm over his base in England. So the

Germans did.

 

Then next week they amputated his other arm and he asked for

the same thing. So the Germans did.

 

The next week they amputated his leg and he again asked for

them to drop it over his base in England.

 

The German doctor replied, "Nein, Ve do dis no more!" The

pilot asked why not, and the German answered, "Ve tink you

trying to escape!"

[N@Z 0]

Jack was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat...... He says "Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother, and said, here - try these on." So, she did and said, "These are too big, I can't wear them". I replied, "...exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. Ever since that night we have never had any problems."

"Hmmm," says Jack. He thinks that might be a good thing to try.

 

So on his honeymoon, Jack takes off his pants and says to Jill, "Here try these on." So she does and says, "these are too large, they don't fit me."

 

Jack says, "...exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will, and I don't want you to ever forget that."

 

Then Jill takes off her pants and hands them to Jack and says, "Here, you try on mine." So he does and says, "I can't get into your pants." So Jill says, "...exactly. And if you don't change your smartass attitude, you never will."

[jasonhanjk 0]

CLICK HERE

[Q00 0]

sigh..dun understand chinese..

[matbon0013 0]

I don't either but try get this..............

 

Mary had a little skirt with splits right up the sides

And every time that Mary walked the boys could see her thighs

Mary had another skirt twas split right up the front...

but she didn't wear that one very often

[Q00 0]

[N@Z 0]

Ahh...

Edited September 18, 2003 by N@Z